hello pretty people.
i cant sleep.
the boy is at MoS and i miss him alrdy.
sighs.
i cant help thinking abt last wkend.
it doesnt hurt anymore thou.
i wish i could be there with him nevertheless.
then again, i cant see myself in that sorta scene,
and that hurts.
now that there's so many oppurtunities opening up, academically, i think about the future even more. and thats scary. cuz i just turned seventeen, not 27.
when em' all say, knowing me, they dont think i'd like or fancy that sorta thing, i suddenly think that i'll just waste away my youth studying, shopping, eating and chilling alone at starbucks when all my friends & bf are having fun that kindar way.
well, i guess that's why everyone's different.
we all have different perks in life.
last week was harsh. especially to get it from one of the people i love.
and then it all came to light on my seventeenth.
sometimes (ok no, make that everytime), you hurt me in some ways or another, knowingly or not, i just want everything we have to be over.
what i get to know last week made me want to numb my senses to your every touch and yet, i want you to hold me, to let me know who matters the most.
i was never that confused in my life (not even when i need to choose which necklace i wna buy).
and then, you showed me what love is like.
when i was so mad, i just didnt wna be there.
usually, being the hard-headed, tantrum-throwing me, i wld just walk away. but, when there and then, all i could do was to hug you, i finally know what to love you is like.
i finally know why it hurts so much on bad days.
your words, your hug, the comfort, made me think of them and how much they love me instead of just thinking about what i want and that brought me there.
even when i didnt wna be there, seeing them and you there is maybe what i really wished for.
a million kisses to all once again.
and, dear boyfriend, i really want you to know, i fell in love with you
again.
12:44 AM;
go on, gimme some♥
