empowered.

Hello, Pretty Strangers.
I'm learning on how to change the world, by changing diapers first.
I'm an only child with four sisters and a brother.
No. Wait. Make that five sisters. I was told to choose one more, anyone in the world and I chose her.
I was spoilt as a child and is still trying to grow up.
But there are "evil" people in the world who makes pretty things and I can't seem to stop myself.
Especially colourful undies.
&bags.
&trinkets.
&bags.
&bags.
Still trying, though.
I love to eat but I don't hate the treadmill.
I'm just plain lazy.
Lazy.
& fickle.
I like to pop by SB-TH and give my Bubbles & Buttercup chocolates.
Then, I'll spend all my money buying a Venti & just waste my time away.
Perfeckt.
My issues with hair is never-ending.
I love bimbo books, with pretty covers.
Aisyah Sufiyah is my favourite-est-est girl.
My friends call my continous, multiple, self-shots; narcissism.
I prefer to say its capturing memories.
I never had the bestest group of friends like I have now.
When I'm not happy, I talk to God in English.
& He listens.
The rest of the time, I'm pretty much happy.
So, in short;
My life's very much blessed.

i SUCK at making decisions and THATS IT.
should i or shouldnt i?
is what i got good enough?
you may think im crazy, you may think im mad
but is that what i deserved?
an A2 will do?
when ive always expected a 1?
is it worth it?
you tell me what i should do?
its my decision in the end
but, will you support it?
urGGH just so sick of it
-------------------------------------------
had a freaking emotional breakdown friday night
i was sucha emo wreck
fook it
its not the results
im grateful for an A2
im happy for the A1's scorers even when im overwhelmed with envy
im happy for qah who expected a B but got an A
i promise Ginny i'll help her get an A2
im happy for all who get what they desired
but, who's happy for me?
whatever decisions i make, will you stand right by me and say "i'll support every step you take"
even mom and dad didnt cheer me up
im so disappointed
and i know its definitely not my results
it might be you
i dont know
im to blame again right?
just because i said i gave up?
just becasue i cant wait no more?
so you think its over, again?
you're so so wrong
just because i didnt open up
you can ignore me and keep mum?
we'll always be this way right?

-you make me happy all around and then i choked in between
maybe im living in denial but i dont cheat my own feelings i know it wont work so i put a stop to it
rather than i hurt the both of us more
and all you do is ignore
take it like we're friends no more
and again i say
its so hurting, its numbing
but
i got used to it
i carried on living
i went on smilling
thank you so much
for the memories
for now, and may be for ever
there'll only be an empty space filled with bad air
in between
you and me

p/s: thanks ginny. you're the first person who said things i wanted to hear

sick.

12:32 PM;
go on, gimme some♥

♥ ♥ ♥