i feel like slashing my wrist with that sharp little razor and run to the kitchen with
blood dripping all over and take the huge chopper and stab my chest for 3 continous times and lie on the floor,dying slowly...
but then again,
why go thru that much trouble when that's how life makes me feel
that's how hurting MY fucking fuckwit life makes ME feel
life is ONE hell of a fucking vicious cycle!on a lighter note,
i am suffering from slight depression
i am puking the stuff i gorge
i am nice to evryone in school
i am NOT starting on my revision
and
the same fucking thing that happened to me,
reaccur again
life is really a fucking vicious cycleon a lighter lighter note,
i thank God im Muslimand i have a strong will
so i wont jump down from the 13th floor
that's just because my flat is until the 12th floor only
ok, im crapping
but really
i thank God that He's thereup there
to look after this weak fragile hearted girl
on a lighter lighter lighter note,
im still alivei know that's bad news
im hanging on to dear life
i AM aware im way way way luckier than that sickly little weak girl lying on the hospital bed not knowing what's gonna happen to her life
whomever that girl is,
may God bless her
on an even lighter note,
i still have
Nor Azan Firdaus
sheesh
we cried together again last nite
all these mixed emotions
whether i should cry at my fucking weak self
or
should i laugh at the fool people make me be
i really dont know
anyways,
im just so sick, tired and fucked up to carry on with this draggy secondary school life
im sick of peirce
im sick of the pple
im sick of my life
but
im gonna hang reeelllllll tite
and when im gone,
im gone...
starting a new FRESH life
starting all over again
back to square one
new environment
hopefully a better one
new people
new life
and mebbe a new slimmer me
since ive started puking stuffs
hahs
kidding laa
im sick of my huge FAT self
pple do look at looks ok
hahs
life's just life
cruel mean life
but
there's a brighter side
i know that
i just got to keep searching
and if all these wont work,i'll just beg my mum to take out all my insurance money and send me to live with the sister in Perth and start a better life thereoklaas
i very the tired oredi
ive got tuition later on
to anyone out there who still treats me as a friend
appreciate me when im still here
cause im already having thoughts of leaving the old life behind
just walk away and never ever turn back
thank you to evryone who has unknowingly to her/himself treated me as
a foolim very grateful
now, when im truly hurt,
all i feel is numbness cause,
it hurts so bad, it doesnt feel anymore
i longed for the childhood days where i can run freebring me back my sweet reminiscencemy dearest boyfriend,
Nor Azan Firdaus
thank you so much for evrything all these long 9mths and still counting
i promise
someday somehow
you'll get to see
my longing
big huge teethy smile truly from my heartmeanwhile,
make do with this depressed,hurt,bruised,torn,tattered girlfriend of ur's
i love you
that's all i can say
UMAIRAH BTE ABDULLAH IS THE BIGGEST FOOL OF ALL
6:59 PM;
go on, gimme some♥